27 Thursday Jun 2013
Posted in TALES FROM THE DINING ROOM TABLE
You know how when you have a broken water line and then finally get it fixed and turn the water back on, the faucets will sputter and spit for a bit while the air is pushed out of the lines. Well, today that happened here.
Joey: Mom, I think the toilet just exploded or something.
27 Thursday Jun 2013
Posted in DRIVING ME CRAZY
Scot had just left our house to take Katie to a trumpet lesson and was a couple of blocks down the street.
Scot: Oops, I just missed my turn.
Katie: Wow, that usually doesn’t happen this early in the drive.
Scot: What? Are you saying that that always happens?
Katie: Yes. That always happens just usually not this close to our house.
25 Tuesday Jun 2013
Picked up Katie from rehearsal last night. About 30 minutes into driving home from Vancouver and after stopping to grab dinner:
Katie: Did you notice that the camel was wearing a hat?
Me: What?
Katie: The camel in the window. It was wearing a hat.
Me: What window?
Katie: The window by the door.
Me: The door to where?
Katie: The church.
Me: There is a camel in the church?
Katie: It is not a real camel.
Me: And it is wearing a hat?
Katie: Yes.
Me: Nope, I didn’t notice.
24 Monday Jun 2013
Posted in THE WORLD ACCORDING TO SAM
I was showing Sam a porcelain baby figurine that was found while the excavation crew was digging a trench in our yard.
Sam: Why do you have that?
Me: The guys found it when they were digging our driveway, about three feet under ground.
Sam: That might be Egyptian.
Me: No, I don’t think it is Egyptian, but it might be from England and it is probably over 100 years old.
Sam: Well, the Egyptian people wrapped in bandages, that call themselves mummies, used to bury things.
Me: This is the United States and Egypt is on the other side of the world and I doubt there would be Egyptian artifacts buried in Oregon.
Sam: The mummies used to bury things really deep in the ground.
23 Sunday Jun 2013
Posted in WELCOME TO PLANET KATIE: POPULATION 1
Katie: (while dishing up her dinner) I have stars stuck in my head.
That was it. We were supposed to understand this.
22 Saturday Jun 2013
Posted in WELCOME TO PLANET KATIE: POPULATION 1
Katie: You know how they have those shows on HGTV where they take brand new furniture and beat it up to make it look rustic and old?
Me: Yes.
Katie: Well, I saw something that showed people taking cheap old things and making them look fancy. Most of it involved gold paint. They took an old brick and painted it gold and then used it as a bookend.
Me: Well, that kind of sounds stupid. (Katie then gave me a strange look)
Me: Oh, did you think that was a good thing to do?
Katie: Well it looked just like a gold brick.
Me: People will know it is not real.
Katie: No, it was an old beat up brick with missing chunks.
Me: Katie please tell me that you don’t think that gold comes out of the ground in bricks.
Katie: No, I don’t think that. They melt it right?
Me: So why would someone have a gold brick with missing chunks?
Katie: I don’t know I just thought it was cool.
21 Friday Jun 2013
Posted in THE WORLD ACCORDING TO SAM
Katie was listening to Minnie the Moocher and Sam walked in to listen to it as well.
Katie: What do you think of this song Sam?
Sam: I think it sounds Irish.
Katie: What?
Sam: Well leprechauns do that. Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye – I’m a leprechaun.
She then showed him video of Cab Calloway
Sam: Well he looks like he is an Irish leprechaun.
21 Friday Jun 2013
Posted in THE WORLD ACCORDING TO SAM
Sam: Knock knock.
Joey: Who’s there?
Sam: Uh. I haven’t thought up one yet.
21 Friday Jun 2013
Scot, Sam and I were watching Hell’s Kitchen last night and the chefs were surprised and crying when their families showed up.
Me: Gee like they didn’t know that was going to happen, because it has never ever happened on every other season.
Sam: (Sounding sad and like he is crying) That is so unsuspected.
Scot: It is isn’t it.
Sam: (Whispering to Scot) I am crying with joy.
19 Wednesday Jun 2013
Posted in THE WORLD ACCORDING TO SAM
Sam: Dad there’s a fridge in the house.
Scot: What did you say?
Sam: It doesn’t matter what I said, I just wanted to get your attention. Can you come read this for me?
Scot: Sure Sam, but you could have just asked me that to begin with.
Sam: But I thought it would be hard to get your attention.
Sam: Now I have something else I need you to read.
