17 Tuesday Sep 2013
Sam wanted the password typed in on his computer. Scot was trying to type it in and the cat jumped up on the keyboard.
Scot: What now cat? I have fed you already.
Sam: Here (reaching for the cat) I can teach him how to fly.
Scot: No, no, no. That’s okay. He doesn’t need to know how to fly.
14 Saturday Sep 2013
Scot: Have you heard of people having naturally violet eyes?
Me: I have heard something like that before. Why?
Scot: Katie was telling me about people having violet eyes.
Katie: Elizabeth Taylor has violet eyes. Did you know that she is also an actress?
Me: UM Yes? That is what she is famous for.
Katie: I just thought she was famous for making make-up and perfume and stuff.
Scot: She is known for being a beautiful movie star.
Scot: I heard that Bach wrote some songs too.
13 Friday Sep 2013
Posted in DRIVING ME CRAZY, THE WORLD ACCORDING TO SAM
Sam: Is your wedding ring real?
Me: Yes.
Sam: If we could figure out how to get that diamond out of the ring, we could sell it and get a lot of money.
Me: I am not selling my diamond.
Sam: We could sell it for a million dollars. We could buy all kinds of fun things.
Me: Sam, my diamond is not worth a million dollars. It is nowhere near that expensive and if it was, I would not wear it in public.
Sam: Mo-om, diamonds are the most precious stones on Earth. They are worth a lot of money. You just don’t know what it is worth.
Me: I am still not going to sell my diamond.
Sam: You just don’t get it.
13 Friday Sep 2013
Katie and I were discussing cat breeds.
Katie: I like the Scottish Fold.
Me: I like the ragdoll.
Katie: Whenever I see the ragdoll cat I think of that song by Van Halen.
Me: Van Halen has a song about cats?
Katie: No the song Rag Doll.
Me: I don’t know a song called Rag Doll by Van Halen.
Katie: You know: (singing) Rag doll livin’ in a movie. Hot tramp, daddy’s little cutie…
Me: I have never heard a song like that from Van Halen and I used to have all of their albums.
Katie: You have never heard that song?
Me: I heard the version of it by Aerosmith.
Katie: OH! I really thought that was Van Halen.
13 Friday Sep 2013
Katie: (While driving into the driveway) Oh look! The little one is getting hairy too.
Luckily I knew exactly what she was talking about. The smallest corn stalk finally is getting some corn on it.
10 Tuesday Sep 2013
Last night Scot and Katie were talking about the fact that Doctor Who was trying to expand their audience by adding a description of what is happening in the show to the title sequence. Sam was sitting there seeming like he was not paying attention. This morning:
Sam: Why does Doctor Who want to expand their audience?
Scot: Because the mainstream public does not typically watch these types of shows. They just want to watch shows about who is sleeping with who.
(Insert dirty look from me)
Sam: What kind of shows?
Me: Shows that don’t have science fiction in them.
Sam: You mean stupid shows?
Scot: Yes, stupid girly shows.
Sam walked off
Me: I can’t take you anywhere.
Scot: Yeah that was a stupid thing to say. I guess I should have said dating.
Me: Ya think? Maybe you should leave for work now before you say anything else stupid.
07 Saturday Sep 2013
Me: He looks like Drew Carey.
Scot: Yes he kind of does.
Me: I wonder if his name is Andrew or just Drew.
Scot: Andrew sounds like the name of a boy who would get beat up.
Me: No one would dare beat up Andrew McCarthy.
Scot: Andrew McCarthy is the one person your mom would dump me for.
Me: In a heartbeat.
Katie: Isn’t Andrew McCarthy that guy who made the list of communists?
Scot: What?
Me: She means that other McCarthy guy.
Scot: Oh Senator Joseph McCarthy.
Katie: I thought his name was Andrew.
Me: Andrew McCarthy is so much better looking.
01 Sunday Sep 2013
Posted in TALES FROM THE DINING ROOM TABLE
Scot: This one looks juicy.
Katie: Did you just call that square juicy?
Scot: I always look for the ones with the most givens.
Me: What did you just call juicy?
Katie: He called his sudoku puzzle juicy. Well, a particular square in the sudoku.
Me: Um – okay?
Scot: I guess the word juicy must mean something different for you guys than it does for me.
