I’ll Let You Be The Gudge Of That

05 Sunday Jan 2020

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Me:  Can someone get this big a$$ jar out of here?

Scot:  Big a$$ jar that is a bag.

Katie and I:  What?

Scot:  Big A$$ Jar is B A G and that is bag.

Katie:  Jar starts with J.

Scot:  Right it starts with J.

Katie: So it cannot be B A G.  J cannot make the G sound.

Scot:  Yes it can.

Me:  No it can’t.  G can make the J sound, but J cannot make the G sound – it can make the H sound though.

Scot:  Yes it can.  What about Judge, what does judge start with?

Katie and I:  J

Scot:  Right, it’s got a D in it and J can make the G sound.

Katie and I:  NO IT CAN’T!

Scot: Jiggle starts with G.

Katie:  No, but giggle does, jiggle starts with J.

Me:  And you were saying J makes the G sound and spelling jiggle with a G would only prove that G makes the J sound not vice versa.

Katie (mocking Scot):  I learned to spell with Hooked on Phonics!  Is this Overheard worthy?

Me:  Definitely, come help me with this.

Scot:  I hope you both screw it up.

Scot:  Brings a whole new meaning to the jiggly room.

Katie:  That makes no sense.  Is there a reference I am not getting?

Scot:  It is funny the giggly room sounds like a comedy club, but the jiggly room sounds like a strip club.

Katie:  The giggly room would be a dumb name for a comedy club.

Scot:  You guys suck!

Me:  We may suck, but at least we can spell.

Me:  There is nowhere in the English language where a J sounds like a hard G.

Scot:  Okay.  I always thought they were interchangeable.

 

 

 

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The Imperials March On

30 Wednesday Oct 2019

Posted by in DRIVING ME CRAZY, WELCOME TO PLANET KATIE: POPULATION 1

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Katie and I were heading to the store.

Katie:  Maybe I should have worn more layers.

Me:  Yeah, it is cold.  The car says it is 40, but it feels more like 32.

Katie (Checking the weather on her phone):  This says it feels like 31 so you are close.

Me:  I knew it felt like it was freezing out there.

Katie:  In Celsius it is 4 degrees, but feels like -1.

Me:  I don’t think in Celsius, but it does feel like it is -1.

Katie:  I had to get used to using Celsius when I was telling people from other countries what the temperature was, so I am used to it.  I think our generation will be the one that changes us over to the metric system.

Me:  I don’t think that will happen, we were told the same thing when we were young.

Katie:  Yeah, but we were taught the metric system in school.

Me:  So were we.

Katie:  Well, in science class, we only used the metric system, so we were more immersed in it.

Me:  That is the same for us.  We used only the metric system in science as well.

Katie:  I thought the Challenger blowing up was much later.

Me:  What does that have to do with anything?

Katie:  They forgot to convert something into metric and that caused it to blow up.

Me:  It was an O-ring that caused the shuttle to blow up.  That is like a rubber washer and that happened when I was in school.

Katie (looking on her phone):  Oh it was the Mars Climate Orbiter in 1999.  My teacher told us that because of this, they started using metric in science classes.

Me:  Well, she was mistaken. We were taught the metric system and they also taught us Roman numerals.

Katie:  They spent maybe 10 minutes teaching us about Roman numerals and my band director went off on that when we did not know when a piece of music was written, because we could not decipher the date.

 

 

 

Game Of Thrones

22 Monday Jan 2018

Posted by in WELCOME TO PLANET KATIE: POPULATION 1

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Me:  Katie, come sit on the toilet.

Katie: Why?

Me:  You just need to sit on the new toilet.

Joey:  Why do they want you to sit on the toilet?

Katie:  Because they are being stupid.  (Katie sits)  This is too tall, I hate it.

Joey:  (Tries out toilet)  This is tall.

Scot:  It is a man size toilet.

Katie:  Your feet are not supposed to dangle.

Joey:  Dangling feet is a good thing.

Katie:  Not when you’re pooping.  Or playing a wind instrument.

Scot:  Why would you play your trumpet while sitting on the toilet?

Katie:  I don’t, all of the chairs in the band room are too tall.  All chairs outside of elementary schools are too tall.

 

 

There’s Gold In Them There Parts

01 Friday Dec 2017

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(A Kohl’s commercial came on the radio)

Katie:  Did they just say, “Women’s underwear for only $37.50?”

Me:  I wasn’t paying attention.

Katie:  $37.50?  For some underwear?  That must be some really fancy underwear.  I would not pay that.

Me:  Maybe if they were lined with gold.

Katie:  For that price they’d better be seamless – and give me wifi.

 

 

The Bigger The Telly, The Better The Man

04 Monday Sep 2017

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Scot:  See how big his thing is?

Katie:  Yes

Scot:  Having a bigger thing means you have higher social status.  The lower status men don’t have a big thing, they have small ones.

Katie:  Do they choose to have bigger things?

Scot:  Well, the worker bees don’t have time to have a big thing, they just have little things.

Me:  What is this thing you are talking about?

Scot:  Actually he has six things.

Me:  You guys are weirdos.

(Katie and Scot talking about the Centauris from Babylon 5)

I Need To Get Away From It All

03 Friday Feb 2017

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Katie:  Guess what song is stuck in my head.

Me:  (singing) Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take you to Bermuda, Bahama…

Katie: NO!  The theme to Steins;gate.

Me: Okay

Katie:  I like how Japanese rock songs use chromatic mediants to modulate.

Scot:  I have no idea what you are talking about.

Me:  Me neither, you are using music geek speak again.

Katie: It’s in the theme to… to… to… to…

Scot:  Steins;gate?

Katie:  NO!  No Game No Life, but that too.

Scot:  Now I am really lost.

Me:  You are welcome for the new song stuck in your head.

Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Plastic Surgery!

15 Saturday Oct 2016

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Sam:  Dad, if our founding fathers came back to life, do you think they would get plastic surgery?

Scot:  I don’t know.  Why would they want to?

Sam:  Because they would all be decayed looking.

Scot:  Well then it would make sense that they would want plastic surgery.

Sam:  Do you think that they would get crowns on their teeth too?

Me:  Of course, because their wooden teeth would have rotted away by now.

Sam:  Exactly.

He’s A Bodacious Babe!

24 Sunday Jan 2016

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Scot:  The ice cream is hard as a rock.

Me:  It is always like that when you put it in the big freezer.

Scot:  Well, there was no room in the little one.  Hey Joey, maybe you can take over for a bit.  You are a buxom young man.

Me:  I don’t think that means what you think it means.

Scot:  What, buxom?  Is that not a real word?

Me:  I am not sure if it is a real word or slang, but look it up.  I think it means big boobs.

Scot:  (checks google)  Yeah, that doesn’t describe Joey at all.  I had no idea it meant that.

Me:  Obviously.