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Overheard at the Craighead House

Overheard at the Craighead House

Monthly Archives: August 2015

If I Could Save Time In A Bottle

28 Friday Aug 2015

Posted by dorkwoman in TALES FROM THE DINING ROOM TABLE, THE WORLD ACCORDING TO SAM

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Sam:  I hate epochs.  They have ruined my view of the world.  Well, my view of time.

Scot:  Does it flow like a river?

Katie:  It is just more divisions of time.  They are defined by humans.

Sam:  Meaning?

Katie:  Well, they probably have good reasons for it and for why they split time up where they do.

Scot:  It’s arbitrary.

Sam:  Oh it is arbitrary.  (he walked off then)

Yubby Dibby Dibby Dibby Dibby DibbyDibby Dum

25 Tuesday Aug 2015

Posted by dorkwoman in TALES FROM THE DINING ROOM TABLE, THE WORLD ACCORDING TO SAM

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Sam:  Did you know that there are people who think that the Earth is flat?

Scot:  Yes.

Sam:  They believe that because their ancestors believed that.  They are not very smart.

Katie:  They are not very numerous either.

Sam:  They are called Flat Earthers.

Scot:  Yes, I have heard of Flat Earthers.  There will always be stupid people on this Planet and there is nothing we can do about it.

Sam:  But they just believe that because that is what their ancestors believed.

Katie (singing):  Tradition!

Scot:  That is exactly what I was thinking!

Gag Me With A Spoon!

16 Sunday Aug 2015

Posted by dorkwoman in TALES FROM THE DINING ROOM TABLE

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Joey:  Did Katie tell you that she finally got her homemade leg wax stuff to work?

Scot:  Really?  So you finally took that goo out of the fridge?

Katie:  Yeah, I just had to cook it some more.

Joey:  But she broke a bowl doing it.

Katie:  Not the bowl that it was in.

Scot:  Did you microwave it?

Katie:  No, I cooked it on the stove.

Scot:  You cannot cook with a bowl on the stove.

Katie:  I put it in a pan.

Scot:  You cannot put a bowl in a pan.

Katie:  I did not put the bowl in the pan.

Scot:  Then how did you break the bowl?

Joey:  She threw it with a spoon.

Katie:  I was trying to spoon it out of the bowl.

Joey:  Yeah, but she threw the whole thing across the room and it shattered, but it was all still stuck together.  Then she picked up the spoon and chunks of glass just started falling off.

Katie:  I cleaned up all of the glass.

Scot:  I think that this is something that could only happen in our house.

 

What Is The Last Thing To Pass Through A Fly’s Mind?

16 Sunday Aug 2015

Posted by dorkwoman in DRIVING ME CRAZY, WELCOME TO PLANET KATIE: POPULATION 1

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Katie:  Oh!  It is so weird to see just the cab of a truck drive by.  It is like seeing just a fly’s head buzz by.

Me:  Um wow.

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Stings

07 Friday Aug 2015

Posted by dorkwoman in THE WORLD ACCORDING TO SAM

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Sam:  There are four stages in a mosquito’s life.  Which one is your favorite?

Scot:  Um, the egg because it is the farthest from biting me.

Sam:  What would you do if you saw one?

Scot:  I would pee on it?

Sam:  You would pee on a pupae?

Scot:  Yes, yes I would.

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