Category Archives: TALES FROM THE DINING ROOM TABLE

Open Mouth; Insert Foot

10 Tuesday Sep 2013

Posted by in TALES FROM THE DINING ROOM TABLE, THE WORLD ACCORDING TO SAM

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Last night Scot and Katie were talking about the fact that Doctor Who was trying to expand their audience by adding a description of what is happening in the show to the title sequence.  Sam was sitting there seeming like he was not paying attention.  This morning:

Sam: Why does Doctor Who want to expand their audience?

Scot:  Because the mainstream public does not typically watch these types of shows. They just want to watch shows about who is sleeping with who.

(Insert dirty look from me)

Sam:  What kind of shows?

Me:  Shows that don’t have science fiction in them.

Sam:  You mean stupid shows?

Scot:  Yes, stupid girly shows.

Sam walked off

Me:  I can’t take you anywhere.

Scot:  Yeah that was a stupid thing to say.  I guess I should have said dating.

Me:  Ya think?  Maybe you should leave for work now before you say anything else stupid.

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Cleveland Rocks

07 Saturday Sep 2013

Posted by in TALES FROM THE DINING ROOM TABLE, WELCOME TO PLANET KATIE: POPULATION 1

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Me:  He looks like Drew Carey.

Scot:  Yes he kind of does.

Me:  I wonder if his name is Andrew or just Drew.

Scot: Andrew sounds like the name of a boy who would get beat up.

Me:  No one would dare beat up Andrew McCarthy.

Scot:  Andrew McCarthy is the one person your mom would dump me for.

Me:  In a heartbeat.

Katie:  Isn’t Andrew McCarthy that guy who made the list of communists?

Scot:  What?

Me:  She means that other McCarthy guy.

Scot:  Oh Senator Joseph McCarthy.

Katie:  I thought his name was Andrew.

Me:  Andrew McCarthy is so much better looking.

Orange and Steak I Get; Sudoku? Not so Much.

01 Sunday Sep 2013

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Scot:  This one looks juicy.

Katie:  Did you just call that square juicy?

Scot:  I always look for the ones with the most givens.

Me:  What did you just call juicy?

Katie:  He called his sudoku puzzle juicy.  Well, a particular square in the sudoku.

Me:  Um – okay?

Scot:  I guess the word juicy must mean something different for you guys than it does for me.

 

An Unmatched Pair!

22 Thursday Aug 2013

Posted by in TALES FROM THE DINING ROOM TABLE, WELCOME TO PLANET KATIE: POPULATION 1

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Katie and Scot are watching an interview with Jim Butcher.  Someone asked if Harry Dresden is a Red Sox  fan or a White Sox fan.

Katie: (paused the video) Do they have both kinds of socks?

Scot:  Yes the Red Sox and the White Sox are both baseball teams.  Actually now the Red Sox are just the Reds.

Katie:  If the Red Socks and the White Socks fight on the same field and it rains, would all their socks turn pink?  Do they actually wear red and white socks?

Scot: I think they do but it is spelled SOX.

Katie: What?  That is stupid.

Think Pink!

22 Thursday Aug 2013

Posted by in Joe Cool, TALES FROM THE DINING ROOM TABLE

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Joey:  The sky is all pink. That is really cool looking.

Scot:  That is from the sun setting.

Joey:  Oh now look, the sky is not as pink, but now the ground looks pink.

Katie:  The ground at the Garden of the Gods always looks pinkish.

Joey:  If I could go to the Garden of the Gods.

Me:  You have been to the Garden of the Gods two times.

Joey:  If I could spend an hour there.

Me:  You have spent several hours there two different times.

Joey:  Well, if I could do whatever I wanted, I would walk through all of the plants just to annoy people.

Me:  What plants?

Scot:  It is a bunch of rocks and you can walk all over them and climb them.

Me:  I have pictures of you on those rocks.  I have pictures of all of us on those rocks. Remember the picture of you that looks like you are holding up a huge rock.

Joey:  Yes but those are red and not pink.

Audio File Not Found

16 Friday Aug 2013

Posted by in TALES FROM THE DINING ROOM TABLE, WELCOME TO PLANET KATIE: POPULATION 1

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Katie:  (setting a stack of CD’s next to Scot)  You could copy these CD’s onto your hard drive while you are working.

Scot:  I don’t know if I have software on this computer that will do that. (Work laptop)

Katie:  You should have Windows Media Player and that should do it.

Scot:  But doesn’t that only do WMA files?  I don’t like WMA files.  I like MP3’s and OGG’s.

Katie:  It used to – I – I think it used – It used – I think it – I – I think – I think it – I – I don’t know.

Scot:  Okay, thanks.   I think I feel a headache coming on.

Riddle Me This Sam-man.

11 Sunday Aug 2013

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Sam:  I made up a really funny joke, but now I can only remember the punch line.  It is, “Get out of my house.”  Does that sound like a good punch line?

Scot:  It does, but I would love to know the rest of the joke.

Sam:  Is it a knock knock joke?

Scot:  I don’t know I did not make it up.

Sam:  Does it sound like it would be a good knock knock joke?

Scot:  Sure. It could be a great joke.

Sam:  Do you think it is funny?

Scot:  Yes I do.

It’s 5:00 Somewhere.

10 Saturday Aug 2013

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Sam:  What age do you have to be to be an alcoholic?

Me:  Well, I guess anyone can be an alcoholic at any age, but the drinking age is 21 in the United States and there are not many alcoholics who are under the age of 21.

Sam:  I think I might be like an alcoholic.  I drink a lot.

Me:  An alcoholic drinks a lot of alcohol.  Things like beer and wine.  You don’t drink that, you drink mostly water and water is good for you.

Sam: I just meant that I am LIKE an alcoholic.

Me:  Okay, but you don’t drink alcohol so I think you are safe.