Sam:  Why are there so many doughnut shops and why do they charge so much?  And this is not related to doughnuts, but Foxman should not be allowed to live on this planet.  All he does is get mad at people who say, “shamrock.”

Me:  Who is Foxman?

Sam:  A jerk.

Scot:  Is he from a TV show?

Sam:  No.   Did you know that lithium is the lightest metal?  I bet you thought it would be aluminum.

Scot:  Yes I did.

Sam:  I am going to learn about carbon and neon today.  Have you ever watched Monty Python’s Holy Grail?

Scot:  Yes a long time ago.

Sam:  Who is Monty Python? (and he runs off as Scot is trying to explain)

Me:  Sorry, my southern comes out sometimes.

Scot:  I cannot stand that Okie from the skokee accent.  Yours is not like that.

Me:  It’s Muskokee not the skokee.

Katie:  A girl with a southern accent is fine to me, but I cannot stand a guy with a southern accent.

Sam:  Why can you not even stand a guy with a southern accent?  Is it because of Nickelback?  (Katie really really really does not like the lead singer’s voice and makes this very well known to all of us)

Katie:  No Sam, Nickelback is from Canada.

Scot:  There is nothing worse than a Canadian with a southern drawl.

Sam:  Do you know about wolverines?

Katie:  Yes.  They have metal claws that come out from between their knuckles.

Sam:  AARRRGGGGHHHH!  You just don’t understand, I give up.

Katie:  I was just kidding.  It was a joke.

Sam:  Wolverines are actually real.   They are the largest member of the weasel family.

Scot:  I did not even know that they were a type of weasel.

Sam:  Did you know that badgers are weasels and that most weasels are very aggressive?

Scot:  They are so aggressive they will attack a cobra.

Sam:  Honey badgers are immune to snake venom.

Scot:  Is that why honey badgers don’t care?

Katie: Did you know that the weasel in “Pop Goes the Weasel” is actually a winter coat and a man is trying to pawn it off to buy a night out on the town?

Sam:  Did you know that wolverines smell better than humans?

Scot:  They don’t stink as bad as humans?

Sam:  No Dad, the have better smell detectors.  Their receptors are freaking huge.

Sam:  Hey Joey, what if a duck from Alaska told Mickey Mouse that Megaman and Stretchy Urchin are trying to take over the world?

Joey:  He would gather his friends and stop them.

Sam:  What if that duck from Alaska said, “I am a genius and I made some costumes that give people super powers?”  He helped Pluto and he now has a spring tail.   What if he gave Mickey the choice to either defy gravity and be able to fly like a helicopter or to have telekinesis?

Joey:  That would be cool.

Then Sam ran off.

Sam wanted the password typed in on his computer. Scot was trying to type it in and the cat jumped up on the keyboard.

Scot:  What now cat?  I have fed you already.

Sam:  Here (reaching for the cat) I can teach him how to fly.

Scot: No, no, no.  That’s okay. He doesn’t need to know how to fly.